Fear and Love: The Language of Fear

The Language of Fear 

The language of Fear is “Either-Or” which requires an absolute viewpoint. It’s binary like the computer language. It’s on or it’s off. We subconsciously believe that we must protect ourselves and we defend ourselves from Fear. It raises a fight-or-flight instinct.  

Fear rises up when we feel we are losing something of value to us – it could be money, relationships or status, life and limb – or FOMO, the Fear Of Missing Out. Something is at risk, and we believe we will be diminished because of it. Our reaction is: Do something! Often, we hold on tighter, without stopping to reason, “Do I really need or want that anymore?” 

We hold on to people who are abusive – someone who is bad for our psyche and our self-esteem. We start to think about leaving – but wait, fear pulls us back because we often stay in what’s familiar to us rather than stepping into the unknown. Maybe we think, “This is the best I deserve” or that something is better than nothing. You tell yourself, “At least it’s stable” even though it’s horribly broken. You stay, and the fear subsides for a little while. 

We are talking about Fear and Love and the different ways they both show up in our lives.

You may start to wonder, “How can I avoid that fear – suppress it – get RID of it?!” We suggest that there’s another way to look at it. First, decide to develop the skill to recognize the symptoms of fear and raise your awareness of what is causing the tension. Listen to what the fear is telling you – try to understand what that energy is stirring up inside you. Do you want to hold on to the fear because you don’t know what will happen if you let go? It’s the kind of lie we tell ourselves to accommodate fear, while ignoring its impact on our emotions.   

Fear Can Be Useful 

We know that there are times when fear ensures our survival.  Fear kept us from getting eaten by lions while wandering the plains of Africa with a spear and a loincloth. That’s the flight part of it. Some people were eaten by the lions because their fear literally paralyzed them, or they foolishly decided to take on the fight. You see, No-Fear can be just as bad as All-Fear, both are extremes. The key is knowing what amount of fear is most useful in any situation. 

In this series, we are talking about Fear and Love and the different ways they both show up in our lives. There are themes we will explore including ways to express fear and love in our relationships. We’ll expose the lies embedded in fear, and the ways we allow them to control our lives.   

Fear is not something to run away from.

Our goal is to help you overcome the fear that deprives you of freedom and happiness and love. You can have courage to confront those fears and overcome the negative emotions they cause. You can develop the capability to respond to the emotion of fear by altering the circumstances you’re in or changing your belief system. 

Masking the Fear 

Ben was thinking about how many people don't get to this point because they're managing their anxiety with drugs whether it’s crack or a pharmaceutical antidepressant. They don’t like the way they feel, and they want that feeling to go away. They think the feeling is caused by a medical issue and it requires a fix; they go get their fix. Let’s make it personal: What if you realized that the feelings are a warning from your spirit that something needs to change – a shift in your belief system, not a patch on the emotions? 

Fear is not something to run away from – unless you are being chased by a wild animal. Fear may be one of your best allies! Recognize what you are afraid of and can go forward – shift that into a suitable reaction. Look at what you're fearing. Listen to it: It is communicating to you. 

Most of us are not trained to recognize Fear so you don't have the awareness to use it productively. If you want to talk with us about your Fear, please reach out.