On Fear and Love: Choosing to Step Out of Fear

Root Causes Matter 

This time, our blog starts with an example from Lynn’s organization to help us understand how getting to the root cause of problems is the best way to solve them. This story is not intended to “call out” any individual, in fact, we are using pseudonyms and some of the non-impacting parts of the story were altered slightly to prove our point. Additionally, the circumstances we share are found in many organizations and we believe can be corrected by using our methods. 

Here is the problem statement – Human error results in discrepancies in medication administration processes. This is true in any organization that administers medication, but Lynn has a different approach to arriving at a solution. Recently, one employee was found to have made errors in the workplace and the manager came to Lynn for help in correcting the problem. It’s important to note that staff must be trained and certified to qualify for the role of medication administrator, so Lynn knew that the employee had been taught the correct procedures. Lynn asked the manager, “Why do you think this employee has made errors?” The manager said that maybe they just didn’t care enough about it. Lynn thought maybe that’s true, but that’s not the root cause of the problem, so let’s dig deeper. 

Lynn went to “Fran” the employee who made the errors and brought a copy of “The Six Rights of Medication Administration” along.  

Fran looked at the booklet and said, “I know how to do it, I don’t have to look at the process every time. There haven’t been any changes in the resident’s meds, so I don’t need to review their paperwork.” 

Lynn acknowledged to herself that these are common reasons employees give when questioned about errors they made. They also confirm that they remember the Six Rights so they don’t need to look at it. Sometimes they admit that they got distracted and missed a step in the process.  

Lynn told Fran that the comments employees make indicate that they are not following the process consistently. She asked Fran directly, “Are you following the Six Rights consistently every time?” The answer was, “No.” Lynn knew that was the root cause of the problem. When a staff member follows the Six Rights consistently, it removes feelings or ambient conditions from the equation. The only thing that is relevant to the resident is the accurate administration of their medications. Lynn’s process of calling out the error, identifying the root cause and changing the behavior is the key to successful correction of the problem.  

Honest Answers Only 

Another employee, who Lynn knows is genuinely committed and cares about the residents, had the belief that he was never going to be successful. His core belief obstructed his ability to perform the role properly. Bert shared with Lynn the process that he goes through when administering medications and she recognized that he was not following the Six Rights. He became defensive and explained why he was doing it the way he was – his identity was coupled to his belief. Lynn asked him “Do you believe that if you followed these Six Rights that you would have so many errors?” He said, “No.” Lynn gave him the choice to commit to following the Six Rights. He paused. Will he make the decision to alter his reality (and his outcomes)?  

Often, people will slip here, and answer the question the way they think it is supposed to be answered. The fact that he paused showed that he was searching for the real answer within himself. That’s where authenticity comes in: Can you be honest with yourself? Bert’s answer was, “I don’t follow the Six Rights consistently, but I don’t think it would change if I did.” Lynn replied that his statement was not valid because he had no evidence of that without trying to do it. Until he does it consistently, he can’t know if it will work or not. Bert has not created the image in his mind that he will be successful following the proper procedures.   

The subconscious mind is lazy.

Lynn believes that her staff can achieve compliance with the Six Rights, and she coaches them that way. Bert’s thinking pathway was rooted in fear energy, and he expressed emotions of doubt in his abilities to administer medications accurately. He had the belief that no matter how good he was, he would still not achieve the criteria set forth. We are still at the surface level of his belief, but the power of the conversation Lynn had with him rests on something deeper. 

If he believes that even if he does everything right, he still won’t achieve success, then he holds a fundamental belief that he is not a capable human being. Somewhere inside, his belief that being underwhelming (inept, bumbling or incompetent) in his behavior reflects a time when that belief kept him safe. It may have served to protect him from some outside force or influence. It’s harming him in the current environment, and he must reconcile that belief with the reality that it will cost him his job. Grappling with this limiting belief creates a scenario where he either cleaves to his belief of insecurity and lack, or he steps out of it into a new reality.  

Fear causes him to believe that no good can come from trying. The subconscious mind is lazy that way, it is loyal to the life we have, and it wants to do the least amount of work to stay there. He can allow it to convince him to stay in his current state.  This is a universal condition – it’s not just about this one person. Everyone has something (or many things) they believe they cannot do. We put up a wall between us and that thing; fear keeps us at the edge of our programmed safety zone.   

Eventually, Bert would have to learn to rewire his thinking, even if in the present moment he could make a verbal commitment to Lynn. The act of making the commitment (after having set aside all his misgivings) would cause a shift in his beliefs. The subsequent achievement of success would reinforce his new model and build on his decision to change behaviors.  

Safe or Significant? 

Fear keeps us safe, but love makes us significant. Humans want to make a difference in the world, to have an impact, to be significant; we walk the tightrope between being safe enough to feel like we can take a risk, or not safe enough that we’ll engage in taking the risk. Think about the safe behavior you act in and figure out the one small step beyond it that feels like a risk. A small risk so that in case it failed, it wouldn’t hurt “too much”. That’s where the growth happens, where you acknowledge that experiencing the consequence of that failure was worth the risk. That step gives you confidence to take the next step, then another one, because you can see yourself taking the risk. You declare, “I’m just going to do it no matter what happens.”  

Lynn’s staff member could say to himself, “Even if I do nothing else, I’m going to follow those Six Rights.” His risk mindset would override his fear of reporting back to Lynn that he didn’t keep his word. He would have to admit that he didn’t keep his word, and a weak link on the team, that he was not worthy of keeping his job. He would have to own that identity which is not his true nature. He’s very smart, and finally realized he had to live up to his own expectations to be successful. He needed to believe in himself and change direction. He’s now listening to Lynn’s coaching on behavioral approaches, trusting and following the processes and strategies that she knows work for the team.  

Lynn’s update: “He’s improving!” Ben said it’s no surprise: Where your focus goes your energy flows. She sees great improvements in the outcomes for the people in his care because of his focus on improving adherence to the medication process. Ben added that his efforts likely have a ripple effect on other areas of his behavior. If we look at the energy model, with fear energy at the bottom and love energy at that top, as someone begins to push upward, they resonate differently than they used to. It’s uncomfortable, there’s friction and static electricity, dissonance and maybe even chaos but your experience improves the higher you go.  

Trust the Experts! 

You can’t stay at the same level, nor can you waver between two levels very long, because the tension becomes too much. You can choose to stay there. Sometimes though the fear pulls you back down, like a rubber band, but then the next time, you say, “I got this!” and you feel better about yourself as a result. Once you get to the next level, you realize that the fear energy was a lie that held you back. The effort was worth it, and even if you were focused on only one thing, other things inch their way up the steps like a caterpillar. Your spirit testifies to the realization that your life has been altered. 

Ben’s friend Scott was in the first Mastermind series on the Laws of Leadership, which was a fundamental course in concrete steps to building a leadership mindset in the workplace. Ben remembers having some tough conversations with people who disagreed with what he was teaching.  Because he was confident in his own training, he assumed the role of an expert in his field. A few weeks after the last class, Ben picked up the phone one day. Scott yelled, “F*** YOU!” Ben asked, “Did I do something wrong to you?” Scott held his ground, “You A***ole! I can’t unsee things at work. Everybody sucks! You ruined my life!” Remember, they’re friends, so it was a jovial conversation that followed (in spite of the profanity) because of the context of the leadership course. 

Humans want to make a difference in the world, to have an impact, to be significant.

About six months later, Scott’s company went through an ownership change and he volunteered for a lay-off package that was offered. That tells us he was aching for more, to be fulfilled in his vocation. By committing to a 10-hour course, the spark was lit, and exploded the pent-up energy inside. Today, he’s in an executive position at another company where he uses his leadership skills to further his reputation as well as that of his firm. He went from being a line manager to consulting with cabinet-level government officials because he saw the wisdom of breaking through the mediocrity mindset. He entered the endless, bountiful space of “I can have all of this, and more”.  

No matter how much someone has, there’s something else/better to have, and it isn’t just about money. It’s a mental transformation that others will notice – like when you go to your high school reunion and someone remarks, “You’ve changed! You seem like a different person.” Well, yes. Yes, I am. I’m glad you noticed. We talked about this phenomenon before, when Lynn told her story of “The Stand, The Reach, The Edge”. Before that experience, she had no idea of the kind of freedom available to her.  

Not everyone has the same reaction, of course. Some folks are comfortable in their slumber, satisfied to stay in the state of unknowingness. They are accustomed to exerting low energy and getting low results. Ben said, “It’s better to be safe than awesome.” Those aren’t the people we want working in our organization and our personal development model is explained to everyone who applies for a position here. People are required to take responsibility for their behavior, or they will be mentored or coached, and may be let go.  

What is Fear Telling You? 

Fear is not the enemy – it is an indicator that you have a moment at hand where you can challenge yourself and grow. You’ll always feel fear first and here’s an example. You decide for some reason to jump out of a perfectly good airplane – also known as skydiving! You are all cabled up with your gear and a parachute pack. You’re strapped to the instructor’s chest, looking face-first out the door of the plane, suddenly fear-struck with too many scenarios playing in your head. You snap back to reality when you realize that the instructor is going to make it difficult for you to back up! 

The lesson is that you need a coach to help you see a direction that is right for you, and go with you through the times in your life when you feel afraid to take that jump. We’re going to help you calm your fears, we’ll take the leap with you, and be there when you land. We’re Soul Skydive Instructors!