Fear and Love: The Spectrum

Fear vs. Love 

In our last blog post, we exposed some myths about fear and love. One of the myths about fear and love is that you can draw a horizontal line with fear at one end and love at the other, in opposition to each other. We are here to challenge that notion. Nobody on planet Earth experiences and expresses all fear or all love; we are all somewhere in between.  

That being said, we had a philosophical disagreement about the question: Can you experience a loving energy and a fearful energy at the same time in your soul? If so, do you feel your emotions switching quickly back and forth (oscillation) or are they meeting in the middle and fighting each other (causing turbulence)? Ben said, “Functionally, there’s no difference, so maybe it’s a moot point philosophically because we both arrived at the same conclusion.” He agreed with Lynn that anytime you face an “either-or” choice you are likely operating in fear. You are confused, and in an excited mental or emotional state where your intention is obscured. It can lead a person to make an ultimatum; for example, saying to your employer, “Either pay me more or I’m going to quit my job.” 

If you believe someone can be in a state of “all love” or “all fear” you are in a state of fear, and it is blocking your true perceptions. This type of absolutism results in poor decision-making because you fail to consider what options are available to you. The only time either-or choices are not fearful is when you work through your choices and eliminate all but the top two. That is a result of prioritizing your goals and reaching a rational decision.  

Opposing Energy Creates Conflict 

A key takeaway in this discussion is to understand which emotion – fear or love – will dominate your consciousness. Which type of energy do you intend to express? You have a choice. A person can't express fear and love simultaneously because fear has a set of behaviors and love has a set of behaviors and they cannot be displayed together. One of those emotions will express the most energy and become the dominant behavior.

Pay me more or I quit! 

Paul Martinelli said that energy expands and expresses itself perfectly and abundantly. So, if your energy is fear energy and you keep feeding it, it will grow. His Seven Levels of Character shows energy consciousness, which sounds a little mystical, so let’s just talk about it in practical terms. We occupy only one of the levels at a time, but we can move up or down the scale depending on our state of mind. 

When you are in a fearing state or a loving state, the longer you dwell there the more it expresses and expands until it can become so ever present and overwhelming that you couldn’t possibly think of being in the other state. 

What is wrong with me?

When we're in conflict, we want to love and we want to fear. We're in tension with the energy dwelling in us. We’re trying to break out. We can't. We’re tumbling and we become paralyzed. We don’t know what to do.  

Symptoms of Fear 

Lynn related this back to her experience long ago that we described in a previous blog. She dwelled in the “Land of Fear” so long that it expressed and expanded to the point that she walked in fear most of the time. Her actions reflected that, affecting her relationships and even her health. She said, “Only when you understand the symptoms and behaviors of fear versus love, and the dynamics behind them, are you able to change.” 

Ben added, “If you’re unaccustomed to feeling that alternate energy, you’ll panic. I usually have a dominant loving energy state of mind, but a while ago, I experienced a few days of heightened anxiety that left me exhausted at the end of the day. I didn’t want to move from the couch and started experiencing physical pain. It started in my chest and radiated to my shoulders and my back, but I knew that it was spiritual.” Even with that awareness, he couldn’t find a root cause until the morning he woke up and didn’t feel the pain. He realized anxiety over a situation caused the symptoms; then, he returned to his regular loving energy state of being. 

It's important to note that the opposite is also true: If a person is living in fear and experiences profound love they won’t know what to do. They’ll question it, and may think, “What is wrong with me?” The feeling is so foreign, they may run away without facing the emotional energy it generated. When we’re talking about love and fear we're talking about emotions – and it is important to understand what message they are communicating to us.   

Last time, we said that fear is not wrong, but you will feel it at some point in life. Our hope is that you choose to understand what it is and create a path to resolution. If we can help you along the way, please reach out.