Character Counts! 

Welcome to our new blog series!  We’re so excited to share with you – we plan to spend a few weeks talking about core character elements.  Why does character matter?  Living life as a character-driven person leads to greater fulfillment and an increase in your sense of self-worth...

It’s Not My Fault! 

Our final blog in this series summarizes all 20 Assertive Rights Principles.  They are all inter-related and inter-dependent and this one emphasizes “without feeling guilty” about exercising your right to be an assertive person.  If you feel guilty about a choice you’ve made, th...

How Do You Feel? 

The root of this principle is that you have the right to live the life you choose.  An assertive person chooses to feel good about themselves, free from the concern of how others may judge them.  In a previous blog, we talked about the word, “appropriate” and how it presumes judgm...

Can I ask you a question? 

Yes, you have the right to ask questions – and not only the ones I want to answer.  You have the right to ask questions without fear of judgment from others.  In a previous blog post, we talked about people who feel like they’re being “challenged” when someone asks them a...

When is it Appropriate to Cry? 

Well, the short answer is “anytime”, however, as you will see, there are times when you might want to delay an emotional reaction until a more appropriate time.  How about weddings and funerals?  In our society, those are acceptable places where people cry, although ...

Going with my Gut is Best, Right?

This principle is one of Lynn’s favorites – she practices it often because it’s important to take time to think so that you can provide your best response.  When someone presses for an answer and you choose to respond quickly, even if it was your “gut reaction”, it...

I Don’t Care About You!

Is that really what you meant to say? An assertive person will see “I don’t care” as a neutral statement, but a passive or an aggressive person may not. If you say, “I don’t care”, someone may take it personally even if you meant it in a neutral or non-judgmental way. Be adv...

I don’t know. I don’t understand. I don’t care. Sounds harsh, no?

We talked about your right to say, “I don’t know” in our last blog and the next two are somewhat related (if in no manner other than their brevity). Assertive people recognize that seeking to understand is a core principle in buildin...

Our whole objective in this series is to connect with people who have a limited view of these principles and provide specific techniques to use while building up their knowledge and use of the principles.

These are the three core principles supported by all the tenets of assertiveness:

Ø Living fr...

Unassertive people operate from the belief that there are conditions – or limitations – to their thinking. They think there must be a right answer or a response based on the way things should be. Logic and reason are valuable tools in decision-making, but they are not the only ones at our disposal.

You don’t owe people anything for their niceness.

If I give you money to pay a bill, I should not feel that you owe me. A generous birthday gift does not mean that I must be overly generous to you for the rest of your life. On the other hand, neither does it imply that you should do my bidding in m...

Nobody’s perfect – we make mistakes.  Does that make you a “bad” person? 

Some people believe that they should never make a mistake or a bad decision, and when it happens, they judge themselves harshly.  They may decide to punish themselves in some way and violate their own right to be human.  In t...